How to Start New Holiday Traditions (That Don't Feel Forced)
Every December, my family does the same thing. We argue gently about where to put the tree, someone burns the first batch of something, and at some point we all end up in the kitchen, even though there’s a perfectly good living room.
None of that was planned. Nobody sat down and said, “Let’s make this a tradition.” It just happened enough times that skipping it would feel wrong.
That’s the thing about holiday traditions most of us miss. We think we need to design them. Pinterest-perfect, photogenic, announced ahead of time. And then we’re surprised when the forced family game night gets eye-rolls and the “meaningful gratitude circle” feels like a performance review.
If you want new traditions this year, because the old ones have faded, because your life changed, or because you never really had any, here’s what I’ve seen actually work.
Why Most “New Traditions” Flop
A tradition has two ingredients: something people enjoy, and repetition. Most failed attempts skip the first part. Someone has a nice idea of what the holidays should look like, imposes it on everyone, and the whole thing quietly dies by January.
A few common reasons:
- It’s too ambitious. A seven-course dinner with matching pajamas and a handmade ornament craft is a lot. You’ll do it once, be exhausted, and never again.
- It’s for an imaginary audience. If you’re planning it for how it will look, not how it will feel, people can tell.
- Nobody else wanted it. Traditions that belong to one person tend to feel like chores to everyone else.
- You tried to announce it. “This is going to be our thing every year!” is a lot of pressure to put on a Tuesday night.
The fix isn’t more effort. It’s less. Think smaller, more specific, and more honest.
What Good Traditions Have in Common
Look at the traditions that last in your own life and you’ll probably notice a pattern.
They’re specific. “Spend quality time together” isn’t a tradition. “Walk to the same diner the morning after Christmas and order too much pancake” is.
They’re easy to repeat. If it requires a flight, a permit, or three weekends of prep, it won’t survive a busy year. The best ones fit inside an ordinary evening.
They have a little sensory hook. A smell, a song, a specific mug, a particular dish. Memory attaches to the senses, which is why one whiff of cinnamon can put you back in your grandmother’s kitchen.
They leave room for people to change. Kids grow up, people move, jobs shift. A tradition that can flex survives. One that demands exact attendance doesn’t.
They’re a little bit silly. The best ones almost always have an inside joke attached. Nobody remembers the polished ones. Everyone remembers the year the turkey ended up on the floor.
20 Easy Holiday Traditions to Try This Year
Pick one. Maybe two. Not all twenty.
For the table
- Cook one new recipe every year. Same day, different dish. Keep a little notebook of what worked.
- A “worst dish” award. Everyone brings something, and you vote on the most interesting failure. Affectionately.
- Leftovers sandwich contest. Day-after meal, but competitive.
- A recipe card exchange. Each person writes a favourite recipe by hand. Over the years, you build a small cookbook.
For the evening
- Annual movie marathon with a theme. Bad holiday movies. Heist movies. Movies from the year you were born.
- A game that only comes out this one time of year. Scarcity makes it special.
- Light-hunting walk. Bundle up, pick a neighbourhood, find the best decorations, vote on a winner.
- Pajamas and a shared playlist. Each person adds five songs. Surprise is the entertainment.
For connection
- Best-and-worst-of-the-year round. Everyone shares one high, one low, and one thing they’re hoping for next year. Keep it short and nobody has to be deep.
- Write letters to each other. Open them next year. It’s weirdly powerful. (Related: write a letter to yourself 5 years from now.)
- A gift swap with a $15 cap and a theme. Constraints make people creative.
- A phone-free hour. Not a dramatic ban. Just one hour, with snacks, and a pile of phones in a basket.
For the world beyond your house
- Volunteer together for one morning. Food bank, animal shelter, neighbour who needs shovelling.
- Donate instead of exchanging one gift. Choose together where it goes.
- Invite someone who’d otherwise be alone. A coworker, a neighbour, a friend far from home. This one tends to become the best part of the season.
For yourself
- A solo winter-solstice walk. Shortest day of the year. Go outside, notice the light, come back to something warm.
- A year-in-review ritual. Spend an hour with your calendar and camera roll and write down what the year actually held. (This year-end review guide is a good starting point.)
- Buy yourself one experience, not a thing. A ticket, a class, a trip. Experiences tend to outlast objects.
- Start next year’s list on December 26th. When the energy of the season is still warm, write down what you want more of.
- A “something to look forward to” in January. Plan it now. The post-holiday slump is real, and an event on the calendar softens it.
How to Introduce It Without Making It Weird
The way you introduce a tradition matters as much as the tradition itself.
Say “let’s try” instead of “this is our new thing.” Low stakes, easy exit. If it’s good, it’ll ask to be repeated.
Let someone else own it. If a cousin lights up at the idea of a cookie swap, let it be hers. Traditions stick when someone has real enthusiasm for them, not when the organiser is dragging everyone along.
Do it once before you name it. The second time, someone will say, “Are we doing the thing again?” That’s when you know.
Take a photo, but don’t stage it. A candid, slightly messy picture will mean more in ten years than a posed one. (And your camera roll could use some meaning anyway.)
What If the Holidays Are Hard?
Some people read an article like this and feel worse. Maybe you’ve lost someone. Maybe you’re far from family, or your family is complicated, or the season simply isn’t joyful for you right now.
If so, you don’t owe anyone a perfect tradition. A small one is enough. A particular tea in the evening. A walk. A phone call at the same time each year. A candle for someone you miss.
A tradition of one is still a tradition. And the shape of your holidays can change. They’re allowed to.
Keep a Running List of Ideas
Here’s what I’ve noticed: the best traditions come from paying attention. You notice the moment everyone laughed hardest, or the dish that vanished first, or the thing that someone said they’d love to try again. And then, a week later, you’ve forgotten.
So write it down. Keep a note, or a list, of “things we should do again.” When December comes around, you’ll have ideas instead of a blank page.
A shared list works even better, since everyone can add their own ideas, which means everyone has a stake in the plan. That’s a big part of why sharing a bucket list works for families and friends. People show up for what they helped choose.
One Small Thing to Do Today
Pick the tradition from the list above that made you smile. Not the one you think you should do. The one that made you smile.
Put a date on it. Tell one person. And then let it be imperfect.
That’s all a tradition really is: one good evening, remembered enough to repeat.
Buckist is a bucket list app for keeping what you actually want to do in one place: browse ideas when you’re stuck, see your life in weeks, and share your list with the people you’ll do it with.
Frequently Asked Questions
- How do you start a new holiday tradition?
- Start small and specific, and do it once before you call it a tradition. Pick one simple activity (a particular meal, a walk, a game, a ritual with a fixed time), invite people casually, and repeat it the following year. A tradition isn't something you announce. It's something that earns the word by being repeated and enjoyed.
- How many holiday traditions is too many?
- Most people do better with two or three that they genuinely love than a dozen they feel obligated to keep up. If a tradition makes the season feel heavier instead of warmer, it's allowed to retire. Treat your list like a garden: add one thing, and prune one thing.
- What are some easy new holiday traditions for adults without kids?
- A holiday movie marathon with one theme per year, a 'best and worst of the year' dinner with friends, a winter walk to look at lights, a gift swap with a spending cap, baking one recipe you've never tried, or volunteering together for a morning. They work because they're simple and repeatable.
- How do I start traditions if my family is far away or the holidays are hard?
- Build traditions around the people and rituals you can control: a video call at a fixed time, a shared playlist, a recipe everyone cooks in their own kitchen, or a small solo ritual like writing a letter to yourself. Chosen family counts, and so does a quiet tradition of one.
- How do I get my family on board with something new?
- Keep the ask tiny and the stakes low. Frame it as 'let's try this once' instead of 'this is our new thing,' and let the idea belong to whoever shows up with energy for it. Sharing a list where everyone can add ideas helps too, because people support what they helped choose.
